Kaise kaise sawaal poochte ho ji

Last evening, a friend called me up after a long time. Now, when you meet or talk to a long-lost langotiya yaar types friend, you tend to become emotional. And that is what we became after the customery hello-hi-how are you lines. Our conversation went something like this…
Friend: Abey tu kahan tha ab tak yaar?
Me: Isi duniya mein yaar.

And the conversation continued for some 15 mins. till we had nothing to say or tell to each other. Now, in situations like these when both of you go silent (as if Mallika Sherawat just said I luv you to you), you tend to go blank as how to continue the conversation. Tabhi mera dost bol pada, “Kuch kaho?”.
Me: Kuch
Friend: Matlab?
Me: Abey tune hi to kaha ‘kuch kaho’.
And we burst out laughing.
Ab iss tarah ke aur bhi bahut saare incidents hain. Apni Dilli ki DTC bus ke conductors ko hi lelo. Bolte hain Ticket bolo..ticket bolo. Aur kuch yaatri maje lete hue kehte hain ‘Nahin bolunga…ja kya karega’. Conductor bolta hai ‘Abey gaadi tere baap ki hai. Ticket bol.’ Yaatri bolte hain, ‘Ticket. Ab kush? Aur kitni baar bolun ticket?’

In school days, we used to ask for lifts on our way back home. Ab jaise hi koi autowallah aake rukta tha..the conversation was like…
Me: Bhaiya Adarsh Nagar jaoge?
Autowallah: Haan
Me : To jao
:P

Doosra tareeka autowaale ko pareshaan karne ka…
Me: Bhaiya khaali ho?
Autowallah: Haanji Bolo.
Me: Hamare saath cricket kheloge. Wicket keeper ban jao.
Autowallah: grrr….

These days TOI ppl are giving a lot of stress on ‘I’. According to them, ‘I’ should not be written in capital, it should be in small caps as ‘i’. Reason: Other letters are also written in small case. So y allow I to be in upper case. Ye kaun sa editor hai jo Queen Victoria ke English ko challenge kar raha hai, bhai. So, in every article, the humble ‘I’ now appears as less than humble ‘i’. Kitna ganda lag raha hoga hamare ‘I’ bhai saab ko. Aisa feel kar raha hoga jaise John Abraham ganja ho gaya ho. But, I found the importance of ‘I’ only when a few days back saamne waale Chauhan uncle advertised for a vacant room by putting up a ‘To Let Available’ sign on his main gates. Now, gali ke ladke itne shaitaan hai ki beech mein ‘I’ daal diya. Ab batao, jo dekhe woh hanse. Kyon? Bhaiya mere, ab sign board per likha tha ‘ToILet Available’.
Last heard, some landlords have put the 'To Let' sign a bit above so that they remain out of the reach of shaitaan children. And some landlords of our colony are advertising for vacant rooms in local newspapers. After all, ‘To Let’ ka sawaal hai.
:)
You ppl have got any such things to share? Do tell me.